Sticky Buns of DOOM!

This weekend I was watching “Throwdown with Bobby Flay” and an episode where he completed against sticky bun champion Joanne Chang came on.  At the end of the episode where Bobby lost, yet again, I thought to myself, “Self, those sticky buns look really good.  I bet you can make them!”.  So I hopped on the interwebs and found the recipie for the winning sticky buns.  I looked it over and said to myself, “Wow, they want an ounce of yeast…that seems like a lot! Five eggs and five cups of flower and 11 oz of butter…hum…this must make a LOT of sticky buns…”  I glanced at the top of the recipe where it says it make six. 

Then here is where the trouble began.  I said to myself “Self, you are not a professional chef, these guys are, I’m sure it’s right.  Just follow the recipe and everything will be fine.”

Lesson number 1: If the recipe looks weird, it probably is weird.

So I carefully measure out all the ingredients for the first part and put them in my wonderful kitchen aid mixerand read where it says in the recipe to let it run on low for ten minutes.  I said to myself “Self, that seems like a really long time.  Won’t that make a lot of gluten, there by making the dough hard and unpalatable?”  Here is where the trouble continued. “Self, they really must know what they are doing, after all, this Joanne lady did win awards for these sticky buns.”  I turned on my kitchen aid, checked the time and walked away. 

Lesson number 2: Don’t walk away from your kitchen aid on an untested recipe.

A few minutes later Husband calls to me from the other room “Is your mixer supposed to be making that noise?”  I call back “The recipe said to let it run for ten minutes.” “You had better check it” he says.

Lesson number 3: Husband knows what mechanical things in pain sounds like, even when he’s in the other room doing something else.

I walk back into the kitchen with about five minuets left on the ten the recipe called for.  The magic smoke is coming out of my kitchen aid while is screams in pain as it tries to mix and beat the substance, that I can’t really call dough, that has formed in the bowl.  I hurriedly turn it off and remove my poor appliance from the scene of it’s torture.

I survey the dough and wonder what I can do with the harden blob.  I still have 11 oz of butter that are supposed to be added and then it is supposed to proof over night.  The recipe said to beat the butter in for twenty minutes in my already tortured kitchen aid.  Here is where I finally went right.  I trusted myself.  “Self, we’ve already come this far, probably at the expense of our kitchen aid so we might as well sacrifice the butter and see what happens.”  So I (with the help of my mother) hand kneaded the butter in.  And I didn’t do it for twenty minutes.

Lesson number 4: If you ever DO try this recipe then I would melt the butter and add it in at the beginning with all the other ingredients and watch your mixer like a hawk.

The rest of the recipe seemed reasonable and worked out fine when I finished them up the next morning.  They also tasted pretty good, too sweet maybe, but good.  Although, I don’t think they were worth the cost of my kitchen aid, award winning or no.


4 thoughts on “Sticky Buns of DOOM!

  1. Lorie November 17, 2008 at 3:19 pm Reply

    Oh no! I almost killed my kitchen aid (and I have the pro one with the metal gears) while trying to put Oreos through my grinder. We can have a Kitchenaid funeral together!


  2. Cutey November 17, 2008 at 4:38 pm Reply

    Frankly, my Mother in laws Internationally famous buns are better. Let me know if you want the recipe. Oh and it won’t cost you a mixer and has an alternative recipe for healthier living.


  3. Shanan November 18, 2008 at 8:15 am Reply

    Oh dear – that is such a bummer! Poor kitchen-aid … 😦


  4. Robert November 18, 2008 at 9:54 am Reply

    Ah, yes, the Magic Smoke. Never good when you let the Magic Smoke out.


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