Tag Archives: I have this theory

The Best Idea About Taxes I’ve Ever Had!

Every year when tax time comes around I start thinking about how messed up and broken our tax system is (Who doesn’t?). I’ve always been a fan of the Flat Tax idea. I even once read a book about the Fair Tax idea, which is surprising for me, because although I’m ‘into’ politics as it were, I can’t often stand enough sustained politics to read a book about it.

This year I had an idea, and it’s one that I’ve never heard before, maybe someone else has had it but I’ve not run into it yet. My idea was to change how the taxes are allocated, and who decides how taxes are allocated.

You’ve all heard of crowdfunding I assume, that’s how we should fund the government.  Every year you would figure out how much you owe in taxes and then you go to some government website that lists all of the different programs and departments that the government wants to have the next year and you decide where your tax money goes, or even just where 50% of your taxes go.

If you don’t like the NSA, you don’t fund it. If you are a big fan of the Military, you send most of your taxes there. You don’t like Obamacare, don’t fund it. You like National Parks? Send 40% of your taxes there. Think welfare programs are good? Pay for it. Think they are bad? Don’t.

Personally I think it would be VERY interesting to see what got funded and what didn’t. It would also be very interesting to see how many programs and departments there are in the fed, and see them all together in one place. There is this list of departments and agencies and this list of programs where they fund things, and this list of welfare programs, but I doubt that putting those three together is comprehensive. I also doubt that most people have ever seen these lists. I think it would be eye opening for most people to see what the fed is doing with their money and good for people to directly decide what they want to have happen with their taxes.

Now, I know realistically it can’t be this way, you know that whole constitution thing that I’m a fan of prevents it, but it sure is fun to think about.

So, if this WAS how we did taxes, what would you fund?

 

Words are Important

I had a conversation yesterday with Peanut about the importance of words.

It started because I was helping her cook some Cinnamon rolls. I told her to get a spoon and instead she got out a rubber spatula. I stopped her and marked the fact that I had told her to get a spoon but she had done something else. I told her how when I said “Spoon” I wasn’t saying “Anything you can get something out of a bowl with” I meant “Spoon”. I explained to her the reason I had told her to get a spoon and showed her why the rubber spatula wouldn’t work as well.

I then stopped her cooking and told her I needed to explain something to her. I said that words are important, when you use a word it has a very specific meaning and that it is very important to be sure that you listen to the words people say, not just the general idea behind it. If you don’t, you wind up with spatulas when you need spoons.

I told her that words are powerful. They are the way you understand people, and if you use them carefully, they are the way you can be understood. Words must be respected and used thoughtfully. I told her that people bring their life and experiences with them and they communicate that by the words that they choose. I told her that relationships, countries and wars have all started and ended because of words, specific words, the wrong or the right ones.

I’m not sure how much of this lesson got though to her, but I feel it was an important one.

 

We enjoy and spend a lot of time trying to understand what people really mean, trying to understand why they chose the word they chose, what context and connotation are they bringing with that word. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think very many people are careful with their words. They say spatula when they mean spoon.

Husband and I often quote a line from the movie “The Princess Bride”. (P.S. if you have not seen this movie your childhood was sad and you should go fix that as soon as possible). The line is where Inigo Montoya says “You keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means.” We say this to each other when we are talking about experiences we had where we couldn’t understand the meaning behind what people were saying because the context or actions didn’t match the words they chose.

I think a lot of hurt, confusion, and misunderstandings would be prevented if people took the tact about words that I was trying to instill in Peanut.

 

What do you think? Are you careful with your words? Do you think I’m over-analyzing things? Do you have a word that has a special connotation with it that might be unusual? Do you think words are important?

Hating on Mother’s day

What’s with all the hating on Mother’s day?

I don’t know about you, but about 75% of the Mothers I know HATE Mothers day, or at least have a mild dislike. Either it makes them feel like they are not a good mother, or they have not had kids they wanted to and it makes them feel like a failure, or their kids didn’t turn out how they hoped, or they had a terrible mother and it reminds them of that, or they have expectations as to what they think their Mother’s day should be like and it never is, or…I could go on, but I think it all boils down to guilt of some kind or another. I don’t know what it is but in America we EXCEL at guilt.

On this Mother’s day I’d like to say to all women everywhere, drop the guilt, at least on this day. Mothers day is meant to honor women for being what they are, Divine Daughters of Heavenly Father with a special mission in life and the eternities. So, if you fit that description (and all women do) be happy in it and for it. I’m not saying your life is or ever was perfect, no one’s is. I am say that in what ever way you feel you fall short, you are worth honoring.

The Lord knows your life and His plan for it, so I hope you will take Mothers day and use it to turn over to the Lord the things that make you cringe at the thought of Mothers day. HE KNOWS those things that tug at your heart when some kids stands up in church and talks about how wonderful their mother is. Use this day to counsel with Him about these things and I’m sure He will bring you healing.

Any maybe, one day, you won’t hate Mother’s day any more. But, even if you do, the Lord will help you get through it.

Legal, Ethical, Moral

I’ve been thinking about this topic for some time. I started with a conversation I had with a friend of mine where we had differing opinions as to weather or not something was okay to do.

legal
adjective
1. of or pertaining to law; connected with the law or its administration: the legal profession.
2. appointed, established, or authorized by law; deriving authority from law.
3. recognized by law rather than by equity.

It seemed pretty black and white to me before but the problem comes in first with legal, people don’t know all the laws, How can you?  For example, when you can leave you child home alone can get you in trouble.  You wouldn’t think that their is a law about this, but different states have different laws about when you can do this.

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/homealone.cfm

in the states where their is none you can still get in trouble if the CPS person who got sent to your door by a jerky neighbor feels differently about the maturity of your child and their ability to take care of themselves. Even the people who should know don’t always.  I had a CPS worker from my state tell me that the age limit here is 12, but when I looked it up for my state there is no age limit (Sorry to anyone I told that it was 12).  And that’s just for kids staying home alone and I couldn’t even get that right! How do you do everything legally when there are too many laws to know about let alone abide by?  It makes my head hurt.

My next thought was well, if you are ethical and moral about everything you’ll be pretty safe.  But not always. The thing that some people fail to think about it the fact that something can be legal and not be ethical or moral. A thing can be moral and not be legal.  It’s just crazy.  It makes met think about Christians in countries like Pakistan.  Converting to be Christianity is ethical and moral, but not legal.

ethical
adjective
1. pertaining to or dealing with morals or the principles of morality; pertaining to right and wrong in conduct.
2. being in accordance with the rules or standards for right conduct or practice, especially the standards of a profession: It was not considered ethical for physicians to advertise.

There are classes on ethics, but the only classes on morality are taught at church.  Again part of the problem is the “standards” they talk about, not everyone will know or agree with them.  With the law, at least you can say “but it’s the law!”

moral
adjective
1. of, pertaining to, or concerned with the principles or rules of right conduct or the distinction between right and wrong; ethical: moral attitudes.
2. expressing or conveying truths or counsel as to right conduct, as a speaker or a literary work.
3. founded on the fundamental principles of right conduct rather than on legalities, enactment, or custom: moral obligations.
4. capable of conforming to the rules of right conduct: a moral being.
5. conforming to the rules of right conduct (opposed to immoral ): a moral man.

The trouble here “principles or rule of right conduct” unless you have been taught and believe the moral principles, not going to happen.  Now, I don’t believe in moral relativity, but I do believe that not everyone is taught the same morals, even people I would have expected to have been taught the same way as me.

I write this, not as some startling revelation that people have been taught different things or that they apply their knowledge differently, but to hopefully get someone else to start thinking through the things they do in terms of is it legal, moral, and ethical?  I hope that in this, as in many other things, what happens is a result of not stopping to think through things.  I think many people have more ethics and morals then sometimes shows in their actions, it’s the thinking it through that they forget to do.

The Art of Complaining

I’ve been doing a fair amount of “woe is me” the last week or so.  It’s not that my life is terrible, it’s not.  My life is wonderful, challenging for me at times, but wonderful.  Sometimes I just want to complain about the things that are challenging for me, even if I don’t really have a real reason for complaining.

Because wanting to complain has been on my mind, I have realized there is an art to complaining.  It first and foremost consists of choosing your audience.  As the Complainer, you want to be sure you are not being a jerk to the complainee, so choose carefully.

When choosing your audience you might want to look for someone who either does not have your problem but understands it, or someone who has the same problem as you at the same level of difficulty.  Don’t choose someone with your problem at a more severe level when complaining, save them for when you want advise.

For example, I have realized that complaining to Husband about my being tired is pointless and makes me kind of a jerk.  He ALWAYS get’s less sleep then me.  If I do want to complain about it I really have to preface it with something like “I can’t believe you can function on so little sleep, because I know I get more then you and I’m about to fall over.”  Don’t complain to insomniacs about being tired.  You won’t get much sympathy.  But if you just want to go for it just know, you’ll get an “I hear ya!” at best.

Be careful you don’t choose someone who WANTS the problem you have. If you do you might have just made someone really mad or really jealous or REALLY hurt,

Don’t complain about how fat you are to people bigger then you or people smaller then you who have digestive problems or food allergies.  If you do, it makes you a jerk. I don’t think any person with IBS ever appreciated being told by someone else that they wish they had IBS so they could be skinny.

Don’t complain to people who want to get married and haven’t been able to find someone or so someone who’s spouse died (especially recently) about your spouse. Doing that also makes you a jerk.

Don’t complain to people with fertility problems or someone who had a miscarriage. about how hard it is taking care of your baby.  If you do it makes you a big jerk.  A note to those out there in those situations, sometimes people don’t know how things are with you, so their being a jerk might to a total accident.

Second in the art of complaining is setting up for the response you want.  If you want advise on how to fix the thing that is bugging you, tell the person.  If you just want to spill your guts and have them nod sympathetically, tell them.  If you want them to relate to you, tell them.  And personally, I’m not above telling the complainee what I want them to tell me in response.  Just be aware on that last one that not everyone will be happy with you telling them what to say.  If you know what you want to get out of your complaining so you can set up for it.

Third, make it count.  No one, how ever much they love you, wants you to complain to them all the time.  And if complaining about something a few times doesn’t relieve your feelings and make you able to move on, you might want to actually DO something about the problem.  Like fix it or at least work on fixing it.  If it’s not something to be fixed, talk to a professional about it.  Now, as a woman, I know we like to re-hash things, if your complaining is helping you work through an issue, great, just make sure it is and you are not just spinning you wheels.

What do you want when you complain?  How do you complain?  Do you have any additional steps for complaining?

Happy Complaining (If happy you can be while doing it!)

P.S. Although some of my “advise” here is probably sound please know I just write to get things out of my head and process.  I am not a professional in counseling or really anything so don’t take it as such.  I do not suggest complaining as therapy or anything like it.  Okay, disclaimer done, go about your day.

Love Theory

So, if you can’t tell, I’m cleaning out my computer.  I wrote this WAY back in 2009 the day before Valentines.  I don’t know why I never published it.  I think I felt like it was super cheesy, even if it really is what I think.  I guess I was scared to let anyone (not that anyone really reads this blog anyway) see these thoughts.  I’m less scared now, and I think I have fewer readers now anyway. 🙂

I have this theory, a theory about love.

I told this once to a friend who had just been broken up with by the man she thought she was going to marry, another friend was there as well.  The lady who just got dumped liked and took comfort from my theory, my other friend thought I was off my rocker.  I’ll be interested to know which you think.

So, here’s my theory.

You only love once (wait, their is more) but that doesn’t mean you can’t love more then one person in your life.

Basically, you are born with the capacity or the pre-disposition to love.  And love a certain type of person, traits, attributes, etc.  Everyone you meet that you care about, that you love, taps into some part of that love that you’ve already got. When they leave or change, they don’t kill part of your love or take it away with them, you still have it inside you. And you don’t have to hate them, or the things you liked about them either. You just have to learn.

In the case where someone brakes you heart people often wonder “Was that really love?”  Or, “Was all that love and time and feeling a waste?”  I say no.  First off, you can’t waste love.  Your experience just helped you to understand more about what the capacity you have to love means, what it is capable of.  Secondly, it also helped you identify the person that your love is meant for, and the person it is not meant for.

For example, the lady I was talking about earlier, she had loved all these good quality’s about the guy that dumped her. Just because he left doesn’t mean she had to stop loving the things she loved about him. It meant that she had found some qualities in him that didn’t match her love. She needed to find the person who had those, sans the qualities the first guy had that hurt her. She had learned about what she did love and needed in her life. And one day, she would come across someone who had all the qualities her love needed.

When I met husband I found all the good things I needed in one person, the match for the love I had always carried inside of me, it had just been waiting for him.  What’s amazing is when you find that person who you are meant to love. I am so grateful for Husband and all the things I have learned about love from him.

So, that’ my Love Theory for you for Valentines Day.

I have another love theory, about how love is a choice, but I’ll leave that for another time.  Or you can read this talk here and it will give you a better explanation then I can.

If you think I’m off my rocker, that’s cool, who can really explain love anyway? At least it makes sense inside my head, even if I can’t make it make sense in type.

How are You?

I have this Theory; there are two kinds of people.  People who say “How are you?” as a greeting, and those who really mean it.  I know that the closer I am to someone the more likely I am to answer the “How are you?” question with the truth, or at least, the more detailed about the truth I will be. 

I very often reply to the standard greeting of “How are you?” with “Do you really want to know?” 90% of the time this illicits  an odd look from the original asker. 

I wonder how a question about your well being became a greeting…