I have spent the last eight months dealing with Infant Pluperfect Emesis (A term I made up* to describe a baby who you think you have burped and then they surprises you, when you think you are totally safe, by puking all over you.)
Let me detail some of the signs for you so you can diagnose it when you see it:
- You will smell that curdled milk smell emanating from the affected child and mother, particularly the hair. One can only take so many showers in a day, especially when one has an infant.
- You will notice a large number of burp cloths strewn around the affected child and it’s habitat.
- A carpet/upholstery cleaner remaining in the main living area for long periods of time is evidence of frequent attempts to clean up the mess off multiple surfaces.
- The mother will likely startle at odd noises or sudden moves, especially emanating from the infant.
- The startling will often be accompanied by lunging towards the child.
You will have noticed this if you have been around me any time in the last eight months.
*When I say I made up the term I mean that I got some Latin words that refer to what I mean and stuck them together.
Meatloaf has started crawling. This has come with a marked improvement in his disposition. Every time he learns to do a bit more for himself he get’s happier with life. I guess I’ve got another independent one on my hands.
He still gets mad about not being able to walk or if he see’s you walk past him and you don’t pick him up. Hopefully as he learns to do and understand more I won’t have such a grumpy gus on my hands.
The other thing he does it beat me up. He LOVES to have me hold him and then wiggle and squiggle so much that I actually wind up with bruises. It’s pretty sad, but his cuteness makes up for it.
So Meatloaf has started crawling this last week. He’s started with pushing his legs while his forehead is on the ground. That has lead to some interesting rug rash.
Peanut of course wanted to know why it was called a forehead.
My biggest concern with the crawling is the Lego’s. We have a TON of Lego’s in this house, and keeping them off the floor is not something that Lunchmeat is very good at. I mean, when you Lego’s look like this
it’s something you worry about. Husband caught him with a Lego guy in his hand and trying his darnedest to get it into his mouth.
So, since Christmas I’ve been sick. This is how it works. I spend about a week feeling very sick and slowly get better. I spend about three days when I think I’m almost over it, but not completely. Then I plunge back into being very sick. All this happened right when we changed insurance and I didn’t have any insurance information, even though we were covered. So, Wednesday I finally got insurance cards and went to the doctor.
When I told the doc I had a sinus infection I wanted to laugh when she said “You think it’s a sinus infection, what makes you think that?” I didn’t laugh, I did tell her that it was the horrible pain and pressure in my sinsus, the yellow mucus, the pressure in my ears, and the fact that I have sinus infections all the time that clued me in. Although I didn’t say it as sarcastic as I’m typing it. I think it’s funny how doctors sometimes think you are stupid.
Then she examined me and suddenly I was no longer stupid. Then she called baby boy a girl. I let that one slide with a “It’s okay, he’s a pretty boy.”
The really sad thing about all of this is that Meatloaf has been sick right along with me. I’m hoping that the meds will break the cycle.
Do you ever get sick in a cycle like that? What do you do to break it? Do you ever feel like Doctors think everyone else is stupid?
So, I do a fair amount of reading about breastfeeding these days. I’m sure you can guess why. I’ve been struggling a bit with it I’ve been looking for resources about stopping breastfeeding, etc. Partly I’m looking for a way to not feel like a failure for stopping at 4 months.
Which is stupid of me because I believe that parenting is a personal choice that should be made by the parents of the child. Every child and every situation is different. You have to do what works for you and your child. I wouldn’t judge anyone for their parenting choices. I may not understand but no judging. So if this is what works for my child and me, why do I feel bad about it?
According to the CDC in 2012 81.9% of women breastfed at some point. By 6 months 60.6% of women were breastfeeding and 25.5% were breastfeeding exclusively.
What I want to know is where is the internet presence of that 18.1% and the 39.4% and that 74.5% of women? All those women that the CDC says have stopped breastfeeding, they have to use computer’s don’t they? You would think they would have things to say about why they stopped breastfeeding, about how they felt about it, how their baby took to it. As far as I can find, there is only one webpage in the whole internet dedicated to it. Every “Ask” and “Yahoo Answers” question about the topic is either women who are trying to wean at 2 years or the answers to the question are all like “You can do it, I breastfed my baby to 3 years and you can too!” So clearly these are not the women I’m looking for.
Why are they not there? Is it because, like me, they have some secret shame for not doing like the women who nurse for a long time? Is it there and I’ve just lost my googling chops? Do women only write about doing something and not about stopping doing something?
Even when you are making a choice that feels right for you it’s nice to have validation that others feel the same way. When Peanut was born I wasn’t able to nurse her because of her medical condition, so I pumped. Once they said I could start nursing as long as I topped her off with a bottle afterwards, she fought me tooth and nail. After about three months I gave up pumping and breastfeeding and just gave her bottles. Breastfeeding, bottle feeding and then pumping was just too much for me. I talked to a friend of mine about it a few days later and she had just done the same thing with her baby who is the same age as Peanut. We both expressed relief that there was someone else who felt as we did and did the same thing we did for much the same reason.
So, I appeal to you women out there, those 18.1%er’s and those 39.4%er’s and those 74.5%er’s speak up! When I’m sitting there fighting my baby to get him to nurse I like to feel like you exist.
So, I guess this is technically no longer a part of the “Birth Story” but it’s part of the same hospital stay so I think it counts. Last time, I told you the initial diagnosis. Here’s what happened next.
So, right after all this my best friend showed up to see us. I missed her call asking what room we were in. She got to the hospital with her husband and came looking for us. When she got to my room my mother in law was there and told her what was going on and how to find us. Husband and her husband gave Meatloaf a blessing. They said it was all going to be okay.
Then the NICU doctor came and told us the result of the echo and what the plan was. We were keeping him on O2 until the result of an echo the next day, hopefully the hypertension would go away and we would then be able to wean him of the O2. He also said the best thing was to make sure he didn’t get upset or stressed so they moved us from the group NICU to a private room so he wouldn’t be stressed by the other babies crying.
Then my mother got there. She had been about to get on a plane to come when we found out that something was wrong with baby boy so we just had my brother in law bring her to the hospital before we told her.
So I pretty much just stayed in that room with Meatloaf that whole day. I went back to my room a few times when he was sleeping to eat and lay down. Mostly my nurses had to hunt me down. I’m really glad that I do so well after I give birth or that would have been WAY harder then it already it was.
That night I had he nurses call me when ever he needed to eat. It worked out pretty well, the would call, I would walk down the hall and feed him and then he would go back to sleep and I would go back to my room.
The next morning when my nurse finally found me she let me know that because of the way insurance works I had to check out of my room that night by 9:00 pm. Husband and I tried to figure out what we could do. We live to far from the hospital for me to come back and forth to feed baby boy, and I really didn’t want to leave him if I didn’t have to. There is a hotel next door that caters to the Cancer patients that come to the hospital so we figured we could stay there if we needed to.
The next echo was done and then we waited for the results. The hardest part was when 9:00 pm came and I had to check out of the hospital without my baby, even though I just turned around and walked back to his room once I was done.
So, last time I told you what happened when Meatloaf was born. Let me continue the story here.
So after all that the moved us to the postpartum room. I sent Husband home shortly after that. I always send him home, although I wish I had not when I had my c-section. I had a quite nice night with my new little sweet baby.
The next morning my pediatrician came by to check Meatloaf. As you probably know, Peanut has mitral valve stinosis. So, we always check my babies in a mirriad of ways before they are born to make sure they are okay and won’t need special care when they are born. But, there are somethings you can’t check for. When the pediatrician checked him he said that he had a murmur and so we needed to get an echo. I wasn’t too worried about it because we had a fetal echo done before he was born and I knew all the parts were there.
My doctor came and checked me and would have let me go home that day but I asked her to let me stay because I knew it was going to be a while before they did the echo and I didn’t want to have to check out before he did.
So, about 10:30 they came and took him to get his echo. Husband got back right after they took him and so we went down to the nursery to watch. They were doing the echo and I could tell something was not good because of the way the echo tech acted. She had them take his blood pressure and his O2 stats. When I saw his O2 stats I started to cry. He was in the low 80’s and you are supposed to be in the high 90’s. I started to cry.
Just then my kids walked up to the window with their Granny. I tried to not let them see me crying but poor Peanut did and got all worried. I feel really bad about that.
Mean while they immediate hooked Meatloaf up to oxygen and his stats came right up, which was good. They took him back into the intensive care part of the nursery and we were able to bring the kids in one at a time to see him. Peanut looked so sad and worried. Cake and Lunchmeat were not. Cake was just super happy to have baby boy born and Lunchmeat was just excited to be somewhere new. Peanut asked if he was going to die and my heart just about broke. She then wrote a card for him. Here it is.
Here’s a cute baby pic to make up for how sad the story is at this point.
They told us that he had patent ductus arteriosus.
More later, but as you can tell by the happy baby picture, all is now well.